Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
