3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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