I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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