What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need moral support for this bender
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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