I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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