When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
