Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize