Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
