who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
