Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
