so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
