There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Someone shattered a urinal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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