I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
