I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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