Fuck appropriateness.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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