UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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