ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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