I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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