I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
