She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
