you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
