My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
