I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
