just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
