you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
