my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
