what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize