im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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