you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
