According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
