sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
