do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We talked him into tasing himself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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