think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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