For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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