he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
