i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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