i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
