Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
