I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
