Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's always time for handjobs
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't deserve a penis
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
