I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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