Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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