Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
