I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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