Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
