Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
