Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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