im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
