OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
