I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
