I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
