we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
