I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
