At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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